Memories
by Renshuusei01
Summary: Kazuma relives some memories after the Ha Clan dies.


Kazuma was laying on his bed, wide awake and alone. As he stared at the ceiling, he thought about the events of the last week. And he felt sleep taking over him slowly.

The Ha Clan had died. Just like The Ma Clan. They had died despite all his efforts. He wasn't able to save them. He couldn't protect their Goddess. He couldn't manage to prevent the same catastrophe from happening again. He was a failure. Both as a shinki and a guidepost. He had failed both his Goddess and the new clan he had founded and raised himself.

But then again he had always been a failure.

~o~

"The name is Kazu, the vessel is Chou. Come Chouki."

The green eyed boy stared at the beautiful woman with awe in his eyes and tears of happiness threatening to fall. Finally he was going to be saved. He was going to have a shelter and a family. He was going to have a master to serve, to please and he was going to have this name to hold onto.

He had only worked for a few Magatsukami before only to have his names taken away after a few weeks. Two of them was displeased at his inexperience and lack of talent. One of them couldn't keep looking after him. And finally, the last one got angry when he commented on them killing people and sent him away, not killing him because they didn't have any other weapon to kill him with.

He could already tell that everything was going to be different with this goddes.

He wouldn't shiver in the cold of the night near a shrineless god. He wouldn't be an only servant who worked day and night for a god who wouldn't even grant wishes. He wouldn't be a weapon used to kill humans.

As he gazed at the beautiful woman with shining blonde hair and an outstretched hand, he softly smiled.

He was glad.

"Aaagh!"

Then a sharp cry echoed in the empty street as the beautiful woman held her ear. Pearly tears fell on her rosy cheeks more out of shock than pain.

"A nail! Completely useless yet penetrating our lady and hurting her! This can only be a bad omen! This soul will bring nothing but calamity to our mistress!"

Kazuma trembled with wide eyes. He hadn't meant to hurt the woman who saved her.

~o~

"And this is your new home Kazuma. Welcome."

He first looked at her kind smile then the surroundings. He couldn't suppress the amazement. It was the first time he saw a temple like that. He was only used to stray gods or small ones with one or two simple shrines. She chuckled at his appearant excitement and the battle team silently glared at him.

Most of them would come to like him later on after witnessing his hard work, eagerness to please and innocent, shy grins.

~o~

"I am Touma. I will be your mentor from now on. So you better work hard you rookie!"

"Yes!"

Kazuma bowed deeply in front of the petite girl. He waited stiffly until the girl told him to follow her, not daring to lift his head.

Later, the two of them went out to the garden, under a grand tree. The girl sat down on the grass and asked him questions for some time.

He didn't sit down near her instead settling for standing before her inspecting eyes and looking at her.

She had long black hair which reflected the sun and purple-blue eyes with long black lashes completing her porcelain like white skin and delicate features. She looked like an expensive doll from a princess' room in her magenta yukata.

"...see what you are capable of."

Kazuma realised that he had spaced out while watching the gentle breeze make her hair flutter.

"I-I... C-could you... repeat that? He smiled sheepishly.

"I said show me a borderline you air head!" Kazuma flinched at her higher tone and angry gaze.

"I don't- I don't know how to draw one miss... I-I am sorry..."

He expected her to shout again when he saw her twitching eyebrow but instead she sighed and stood up.

"As expected of a rookie...We will start by teaching you borderlines."

She walked closer to him. "By the way, you don't have to call me miss. Touma or Senpai is fine." He nodded.

Then she came to stand near him and he felt himself blush when she put a hand on his waist and grabbed his closest hand. She corrected his posture then helped him make an invisible line in the air.

"You are going to do it like this. Just imagine a wall between yourself and what's in front of you...It should lopk like this."

She backed away and made a borderline of her own. Kazuma stared with sparkling eyes. He had never felt the need for borderlines before for his longest contract lasted only five weeks.

He was already a fan of the girl before him after three days of training with her. She was full of knowledge, she was confident, she was also talented being able to do anything from borderlines to housework. Eventhough she looled stern she had a kind nature even feeding the small birds, talking to flowers and playing with the young shinki.

She had a beautiful voice matching her pretty face he realised as he watched her sing as she watered the flowers in the garden.

The sun was out as always and birds were chirping along with laughing children who were playing outside. The sun rays fell on Touma's hair, making it shine. She had let it down that day. She had placed fresh flowers he had picked for her in her hair. And Kazuma had to admit they matched with her pink yukata, her equally pink cheeks and rosy lips that were curked upwards.

Touma loved being outside. She loved flowers. She loved children. She loved singing. She loved sitting by the fountain. She loved small frogs, butterflies, birds and every other small animal. She loved teaching. She loved smiling.

And he loved watching her. Indeed he was sitting in seiza position under the tree in the garden and watching her, waiting for her to finish with the flowers. He was listening to her song and soon he found himself humming along. He had lomg since learned the melody.

He loved being by her side. Watching her. Listening to her. Learning from her...

"Go talk to her Kazuma. I am sure she feels the same."

He slightly jumped as Nema, one of the older shinki sat near him. Then he looked at her with puzzlement. She only laughed and told him to forget about it. He really was a child she said.

~o~

"Find Touma! She was the one who caused this blight! She needs to be punished!"

Kazuma's eyes widened. Touma wouldn't do that. She was a kind and beautiful girl. She didn't fight with anyone, she didn't show negative emotions, she didn't get şn anyone's way in fact she helped everyone around.

No one could know her better than him. They soent everyday with each other. Their rooms were next to each other only a paper door seperating them. They would wake up and eat breakfast together. Then they would help around with the morning chores. They would study together. Then Kazuma would go th the battle tean if they went out but when he returned she would always be waiting. In the evenings, they would sit on the porch together while he excitedly told her what he did on the mission and she mended his clothes for him.

Kazuma had followed her around for months clutching her sleeve and he even tried to go in the bath with her once with a child's innocence when she casted him out slightly flustered. Then she had explained to him afterwards that it was improper for a grown man like himself to see a girl naked if they weren't married because those intimate things were only reserved for couples and he had listened with a bright red blush feeling embrassed.

Whenever he lost his way around the temple, Touma would find him. Whenever he didn't understand and assignment, Touma would help him. Whenever he got scared of the dark, Touma would stay with him. Whenever he became sick, Touma would nurse him back to health. Whenever he fell, Touma would be there with an extended hand to help him back on his feet.

So, he knew her better than anyone else. She would never cause a blight. She was perfect almost angelic.

"You can't be serious ght madam? She wouldn't do that?"

The old lead glared at him.

"Of course you would protect her... Can't you see that she is hurting our lady? She has to be punished!"

"No!"

He tried to convince them. He tried to take Touma away from them. He tried to fight them. He tried to catch her. He tried to jump after her.

Why was he such a failure? Why was he so useless?

Even in her last moments Touma was trying to protect him, shaking her head. 'Don't come closer! You will fall!' she wanted to say.

~o~

"Kill my family. All of them. I am willing to give anything you wish in exchange."

Kill them to save my lady.

Stop that blight.

Help my goddess.

Take Touma's revenge.

It had been the first and the last time he had blighted Bishamon. Because od that last selfish wish.

~o~

"I don't want any other shinki Kazuma! You are enough."

Bishamon looked at him with teary eyes and a bitter smile. Then she slowly leaned in. Their foreheads touched.

And he bolted away.

"M-my lady please! You-you only feel alone. Those... intimate things are reserved for lovers!"

He ran out of the room saying he would cook her dinner.

~o~

Kazuma watched as the few shinki went around the house doing chores. Not helping but only supervising and giving orders felt strange.

It felt alone.

If only he could go back to being a clumsy newbie who didn't have a worry about anything.

If only his senpai could be there to guide him.

If only she could return to teach him again instead of him learning everything by himself.

~o~

"Kazuma senpai! How did I do?"

"You did well Aiha. Our lady will be so happy to learn that you can draw borderlines now."

"Kazuma senpai, can you help with this?"

"It is actually simple Kinuha, ypu should..."

"Kazuma senpai, we finished organizing the library."

"Good. Ariha is cleaning the stairs. You can help over there."

"Kazuma senpai, I finished my paperwork."

"You can leave it there."

"Kazuma senpai. We drew you a picture."

"Thank you! Let's hang that."

In the end of the day Kazuma would always collapse on his bed. He was tired of being Kazuma senpai. He missed being the youngest of his clan. Being Touma's kohai who always followed her around.

~o~

"I will never forgive him Kazuma. Even if it takes to go around the world to hunt him down, I will do it."

Kazuma was tired of secrets and lies. He was tired of trying to suppress the guilt. He was tired of checking his body for blights everyday.

Why couldn't it just end?

Why couldn't he return to those peaceful days?

~o~

"Yato isn't your enemy Viina. He is your saver."

Kazuma managed to choke out those words before his world went black.

When he came back consciousness, she was there. sitting on a chair near his bed.

She was wearing her favorite magenta yukata with her hair let down. She was smiling faintly at him.

"Is your body alright?" Didn't you burn alive? Didn't those ayakashi eat you?

He blinked a few times to clear his blurry vision.

It wasn't her. It was only Viina.

She couldn't be there.

She was dead.

She would never return.

He would never see her again.

The corners of his eyes felt hot as he felt the tears forming in his eyes. He had failed her too. Just like the rest of his clan, his second clan and his goddess. Why hadn't he leapt foward faster and caught her hand.

Why was he so useless?

"Were you dreaming about the past?"

Kazuma looked at the blonde woman in front of him. He recalled their first meeting.

No matter how many times he faiked her, she never left him alone or abondened him.

They had overcome many things together. He had slowly learned and she had watched as he grew. He had started to fit in the lead shinki role and she followed him. He had failed her and she forgave him.

And there she was smiling at him.

He knew that Viina would always be there. Because she too needed him just like he needed her.

He would never stop missing Touma. He wouldn't stop dreaming of her. He wouldn't stop thinking about her everyday. He would always have a special place in him reserved only for her.

But he wouldn't be alone.

Because she would always be there.


End file.
